Let me start by saying that I wish this story were not true. This story is about an experience from my senior year in high school. I decided to share the story to illustrate that I was a knucklehead at times in my youth. However, I did learn a lot as a result of this experience. Thus, I am also telling the story because it was influential in shaping me into the person I am today.
During the 1980s in Star Valley Wyoming, boys and men did not wear earrings. In my high school, it was common knowledge that guys who wore earrings were either gay (especially an earring in the right ear lobe), part of the small "goth" / "emo" clique in the school, or acting out. In the celebrity community of the era, Michael Jackson, George Michael, Boy George, Prince, etc. wore one or more earrings. In addition, some male professional athletes started wearing earrings. One or two of the popular guys in our high school got their ears pierced and started wearing an earring.
During lunch-hour one day, several of us were sitting on the bench in the senior hallway. We started talking about guys wearing earrings and what it meant. Some of us joked that we should all get our left ear lobe pierced and start wearing an earring. We engaged in some good-natured joking about this topic and how others would react if we showed up in school wearing earrings.
At some point, a friend said he had a piercing stud (an earring designed to use for piercing ears and worn until the ear lobe healed) in his locker. He offered to pierce the ear of anyone who "dared" to let him. No one really took him seriously.
In a moment of bravado, I chose to say that I would do it.
As I look back now, I do not remember if I had any particular rationale. I guess it was part I wanted to show up my peers that I could do it. I may have also envisioned some of the sensationalism that would occur if others in the school saw me with an earring.
My friend got the earring from his locker. We all (about 10 of us) went outside the front door of the school. I got a handful of snow and held it on my left ear lobe for a couple of minutes to numb it. Then my friend pushed the earring through my ear and put the back on the earring. The bell rang to indicate the end of the lunch period free time. I went to class.
I do not remember what class I had right after lunch for fifth period. But I know I had Physiology during sixth period with my favorite high school teacher (Mr. Lamb) and Computer Science during seventh period with Mr. Kunz.
No one really commented or said much about my earring during fifth period. However, I will never forget the disappointment that I witnessed on Mr. Lamb's face when walked into the classroom for his class. Mr. Lamb was a person I looked up to as a role model and admired. He said something like I thought you knew better.
The look and comment from Mr. Lamb paled in comparison to what I experienced as I sat down at my desk in the classroom. The desks were the typical science classroom lab desks with large stone tops and two students sat at the desk. I shared a desk with my best friend from high school (Kristin Davis). Kristin looked at me and said something like, "`Jon you are so stupid." Then she did not talk to me the rest of the day.
While most of the guys cheered me and complimented me on my bravery to have my ear pierced by an unprofessional who pushed the earring through my ear, most o the girls reacted in a way similar to how Kristin responded.
I found myself taking offense that someone would think I was a different person just because I was wearing an earring. I did not feel any different. I was still the same person. However, because I was different on the outside some people were treating me differently.
During seventh period, Mr. Kunz teased me a bit about my decision and my new jewelry. After seventh period, I walked to the bus to go home from school. My dad was my school bus driver. As I stepped onto the bus, he looked at me. I saw the disappointment in his eyes. He said something to me like "don't plan to live at home if you are going to wear that thing."
(While I am sure my mom said something to me after I got home, I do not remember any interaction with her about my earring.)
As I lay in bed that night, I reflected on the disappointed looks I had received from Mr. Lamb, Kristin, and Dad. I was not any different at the end of the day than I was at the beginning of the day. I was still the same person. However, other people's perceptions of me had changed.
I realized that in trying to be accepted as "cool" or "one of the guys," I had made myself disconnected from people that I admired and who love me for who I was. It was a significant moment for me to realize that it was more important to me to be perceived as a good person by my close friends, respect mentors, and parents than it was for me to be perceived as "cool" and accepted by my peers.
I removed the earring and threw it in the trash.
I vowed to do things that would make my true friends glad to be my friend. I have tried to live up to that from that time until now.
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