I served as the Bishop of the Norman 2nd Ward from January 2003 to July 2004. This story is about an experience I had with one of the young women in our ward. I learned that the youth in the church do not always have the same perspective as adults.
This story takes place on the Sunday before one of our scheduled baptism trips. We scheduled one baptism trip each quarter in the Oklahoma City Oklahoma Temple. I had asked the YM and YW presidents to give me a final list of which youth would be going to the temple by the end of our three-hour meeting block.
During the Sunday School lesson, the Young Women president called me out of the Sunday School class. She asked me to meet with one of the Beehive's mother. When the YW president asked this Beehive if she was going to the temple that week, the Beehive responded that she needed to talk with the bishop before going to the temple because she did not feel worthy to go to the temple.
The mother was with the daughter when she told this to the YW president. The mother asked to meet with me before I met with the daughter.
I went to the Bishop's office to meet with the mother. The mother explained to me that a few years earlier her daughter had been abused by a relative. The mother wanted to make sure I was aware of the situation as well as the trauma experienced by her daughter. The mother explained that the legal and church discipline actions had all been resolved. The daughter had worked through the experience with a counselor. The mother was upset and quite concerned this past experience was impacting her daughter's feelings of worthiness to go to the temple.
I asked the mother if her daughter had told her this experience was the reason she wanted to meet with the bishop. The mother said no. She had not asked the daughter. The mother also had not told the daughter she was going to meet with me first. I thanked the mother for letting me know and assured her that I would handle the situation as best I could.
After meeting with the mother, I met with the daughter during the third hour of church. We chatted briefly and I asked if we could start the interview with prayer. After the prayer, I said that I understood she wanted to see me before she went on the temple trip.
She was a bit shy and looked at her shoes. She hesitantly said yes she wanted to meet with me. She said that she did not feel like she should go to the temple that week because she was not worthy.
I asked her to share why she did to feel worthy. She looked up at me and said with a trembling voice, "I yelled at my mom this week."
Of course, I was relieved.
I talked with her about the importance of honoring our parents and speaking kindly to them. We discussed the repentance process. Together, we talked through a plan for her to apologize to her mother and seek forgiveness. I directed her to pray after she apologized to her mother and promised that if she was sincere, she would feel a witness from the Holy Ghost that she was forgiven.
We agreed that if she felt better after apologizing and praying that she would be able to go to the temple.
I learned what an adult might consider inconsequential or small can seem insurmountable for a young person. I am grateful for this Beehive who taught me taught me it is just as important to repent of the "small" mistakes as well as the "large" mistakes we make.
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